Friends

I just wanted to post some videos and pictures of my friends. I've had the best friends ever! Some have been in my life for 7 or 8 years and some just for 2 or 3, BUT all of them know me and are always there for me. They give me the best advice or no advice and show up with star bucks at 1 AM without talking to me in weeks... they just know! lol.

To end this post... In my life currently I play mom (I nanny). I get them ready, take them to school then I gym it up. I do homework then I pick them up and then I go to class. I have a calling and I also attend the temple once a week for my calling. I play intramural soccer with my friend Em and we tore up this week. On the weekends, I watch football or go to the games!!! I have a internship I think for my cap stone, I just have to get the paper work finished and then I'll be even more busy! It'll be with drug and alcohol addicts. I will be working in a residential home with them!!! Life is good. I love everything I've been doing and the people in my life are amazing. The end. <3>

Impatient

So I have a hard time being alone..... I need close secure relationships... 

Well I don't know what I'm looking for
But I know that I just wanna look some more
And I won't be satisfied
'Till there's nothing left that I haven't tried
For some people it's an easy choice
But for me there's a devil and an angel's voice
Well I don't know what I am looking for
But I know that I just wanna look some more

Well I don't know what I'm living for
But I know that I just wanna live some more
And you hear it from strangers
And you hear it from friends
That love never dies, love never ends
Now I don't wanna argue, no I don't wanna fight
'Cause you're always wrong and I'm always right
Well I don't know what I am living for
But I know that I just wanna live some more

I used to be involved, and I felt like a king
Now I've lost it all and I don't feel a thing
I may never grow old, I may never give in
And I'll blame this world that I live in
I visit hell on a daily basis
I see the sadness in all your faces
I've got friends who have married
And their lives seem complete
Here I am still stumbling down a darkened street

And I act like a child and I'm insecure
And I'm filled with doubt and I'm immature
Sometimes it creeps up on me and before I know it
I'm lost at sea
But no matter how far I row
I always find my way back home
But I don't know what I've been waiting for
But I know that I don't wanna wait anymore

Help Me Rhonda, Help!

My goal for the summer....

Race name :	Bountiful Triathlon
Date :	8/8/2009
Address :	550 N 200 W Bountiful, Utah 84010
Country :	United States
Race type :	Triathlon (Mini Sprint)
Organization :
Website :	http://www.bountifultriathlon.com/
	Swim 0.32 kms   Bike 18.5 kms   Run 5 kms

I have started training and I hope I'm ready in time....

Cloak Of Secrecy

I got to help out a friend in London and I say got to because it was way too much fun for me. I really enjoyed having someone paint my face and dress me in something that I would never normally wear.  Since then I have been thinking a lot about disguises aka clothes, make up or just "fashion". I love and hate it.... it is this on going relationship I have with it. I just attended the sweetest wedding... sweet as in sorta humble and it was very enjoyable. It wasn't a poor person but it also wasn't over the top. It was "sweet". Right before this wedding I watched 20 most expensive weddings on tv.... wow they were also "Swwweet!".

This thought doesn't have a conclusion or a solution ... meaning it isn't complete. I was just thinking about happiness and different masks, cloaks, disguises we use and how it seems to effect us. There are more cloaks than just "fashion". 

If you have any thoughts you wanna share, please do!!! Xxx

The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot

The way I feel inside..... 

LOL

I love this movie way too much....

Mana from heaven, sweet nectar of life

The picture below is the bridge my friend and I walked across and is also in Harry Potter... The love of my life. 

I'm torn between Utah and Arizona... school, work, what I want to do or what I should do. Either way could be what I should do and either way could be what I want to do.......

should do... could do..... would do...... 

Net Force

My mind is going to fast for me to explain everything that I've written... Above is Newton's 2nd Law: talking about how the motion and the motive force behind the motion..... if a force generates a motion, a double force will generate a double motion and so on.... this also still is true whether that force be impressed is altogether and at once or gradually (this motion being directed the same way with the generating force). 

That being said..... I was over thinking the laws of human nature and human attraction and what forces are behind it so where what did I decide to over read? Laws of attraction and motion and I really enjoyed it and I really enjoy physics. 

So I am much as I learn and as much and I observe, the less I know. I know absolutely nothing! Accepting that to be true has brought me so joy in knowing, I get to learn forever and always be surprised! How great is that? I think it is great.... which is why this is my blog and my opinion and why I'm writing about it.


OK so I totally have a crush, No one knows (or at least I hope not... I'm bad at hiding things) or will know bc it is not logical, he isn't my type and I don't want to date him.... but some force beyond me makes me want to just pounce him. Yeah I said it.....  Oh well..... I have more thoughts on this but I'm not going to share them unless asked.

I have certain things I am attracted to ... I know I am.... one being romantic nerds like me..... I love and adore this

"He is the half part of a blessed man, left to be finished by such as she. And she a fair divided excellence, whose fullness of perfection lies in him." 

William Shakespeare

I also love adore my best friend who is getting engaged this weekend. It has been really hard on me.... never knew loosing him would be this hard.

Another thing is I've been reading about Karma... and other peoples perspectives... so different religions and what not... I thought this angry person was funny and what he said I can't repeat but I can repeat one part.... which is

WHATEVER WE SEE - WE CREATE, THAT IS OUR KARMA

Well I'm not going to try and sleep longer than 3 hrs.... I shouldn't be up..... Love to all of you and especially England. I miss my friends there and their "wicked" way of speaking.... I want to go back. The End

Here Comes The Sun

So the name of this album is so cheesy! I love it..... Well I was thinking today about people. When am I not analyzing people and making theories and judgments? well Hardly ever is the answer

I'm reading this book and it is talking about the happiness in other countries. It is pretty good book. It was saying how in Thailand they just let things go! OK As I've gotten older, i let more go but I still have feel like most things have a solution- even if it is a bad one. Like for instance, I can't control how people treat me but I can still treat them well. My friend gave me advice saying something like  " well you've got to learn that people have good and bad days and it isn't about you. They aren't always going to be nice to you" i wanted to say " duh?!?! but I have good and bad days and that doesn't excuse me for being a bitch" I didn't, I took the advice and smiled.... inside though, i wasn't smiling. I think of the people in my life (friends/family) and the ones I respect and the ones I have fun with. They are different sometimes. The ones I respect the most and feel that are more wise and mature than me- they hardly give me advice, they have never made me angry- doesn't mean i wasn't upset around them but never BC of how they were treating me. I sometimes try and make excuse and reasons for people's behavior so I don't think less of them- But today I think- Who cares. I will just not respect them because I don't. I think they are fun, i love them but some of my friends are just immature and I still love them and can treat them well when they are rude to me but They are rude. I'm not sure if that is like the Thais or like the Americans way- either way I've found some peace :) Hence the title 'Here comes the sun'. here comes some happiness I've found In knowing who I am, and an understanding that People can teach us different things. Some of those friends who are immature in the area of mood swings and how to treat your friends, are mature in other areas that I haven't developed or that don't come easily to me. I find that it is easy for me to treat everyone around me well, no matter how I feel, until it comes to my family. Ugh the people i love the most. I'm no saint. I'm someone that thinks and thinks and thinks and try's to act and fails. I don't give up but I think about giving up hahaha. 

OH some funny-ish story::::: Ok so i was watching my names earl with a friend last night and it was funny bc earl is being Buddhist and trying to make up for things and gain points for his next life. In it Karma comes in.... everything that he made happened to someone, happened to him and it was funny. Well I punched a bee the other day (not just a bee but a Huge BLACK bee..... yes bees can be just black (some of my friends are racist, but hey "can you really blame them" haha jk)... anyways this bee has sent his friend bees and bugs to follow me around all day today. ha i am just walking around singing "shake it" thinking of my friends in Utah and those good times and Wham! attacked and then followed for half an hr..... karma? not really but still i need to make it up to those bugs so I helped a snail and then No more bugs followed me :) hahahaha

ugh, I'm crazy but I'd rather be in my thoughts and understanding than be anyone else. I love that i love to be a lone now but i also love people! more than being a lone but i need both to fully grow and understand life.... no one wants to be in a stand still. I feel balanced for once. Oh also i was thinking about how I'm sorta in a standstill till i get to be married and serve... i do love having roommates and learning to serve and love someone you didn't know two months ago.... :) it is "fun" how the Thais describe things....  In the book it gave an example of the difference in America- mowing the yard isn't fun so we get rich to pay someone to... but in Thailand it isn't fun but they make work and play fun... just different ... a balance so that when they are rich they don't pay someone to do it BC the balance makes life fun and brings happiness :)

the end.

All Good Things Must End Someday

So Recently over the last 4 months I've been in England.... These four months have been ... lol

I am blogging out of lack of anyone to talk to!

No one will read this, no one will know, no one really cares because I don't even care what I have to say......

So there are a few things I've learned.... I love to read (more than I knew I did), I love and need music more than I though and I do hate being alone. haha. I knew these things but thought they could change- thought I'd enjoy walking the streets alone and seeing movies alone and all that stuff. I don't. I enjoy people. Anyone really. I'm not picky when it comes to people but I am picky when it comes to food.

I do have some favorite people that I meet.... The people from Poland are so kind (not nice but kind), humble and giving. I also enjoyed the Scottish people.... they are friendly and enjoy life in the moment. Very entertaining..... <3.>

So I LOVE Europe or at least i did. Ha.... Since I've been here... I can't lose weight but i gain weight (maybe BC i start my period every two weeks... sick I know... What's a girl to do? lol), Another thing is i have "spots" always... the air is so dirty.... then so is my freakin face haha. buh. i know Vain- but since all people do is see me and not talk to me- at least can i look good? nope. i look dirty so people probably assume I'm dirty. I am dirty but at least take the time to find that out. Geezzz people ;) Ok even though No one is going to read this, I'm laughing.

Ok I'm feeling a little guilty ( Weird, do i ever feel guilty?) This is because I sound like i don't love it here... I'm very blessed in all my trips... with a great family that visited me... and great curves do to the weight gain. balls.... yeah I'm a real women in Europe, rather than a stick girl in America.....

given both options... I'm choosing the stick girl in America come may 19Th!!! Mexican food, here i come!!!

So If any of my friends read this.... the girls are wanting to know about the boys! well I don't hate their bad accents anymore but the English are not as good looking ;) ... so I've been on some dates .... One that i liked (ugly but funny)... turned into a psycho. he has anger problems. My be the funnest story of all the guys I've ever gone on dates with. I'll be telling it for yrs. The other one is hot but boring... had the chance to make out and i didn't... too bored. Sad huh? The last one is just too desperate.... he is cool and then he gets insecure and I can't deal with that. Ya know a 30 yr old that is still insecure is what i want... it just turns me on... so much that i have no self control so I can't put myself in such a dangerous situation.

haha... WOW I hope no one reads this ....... I've decided All ppl are crazy and need help but BC I'm from America, I understand them and their crazy behaviors more. I don't understand things like trying to charge me 7 Pd's per night per person on top of rent .... so I wont be paying that ... never agreed to it and i find it a little crazy. I can't wait to long board the Provo cannon and eat Costa Vida and lay out on the roof of my apartment building and make sarcastic and dirty jokes with people who think I'm funny!!!

BC i do what i want when i want and I am freakin funny. Chew on that a while Mr chewy.

OH one more thing.... I want to travel with a suit case the first 4 or 5 months I'm married ... if i get married and live my life in a way that is just what i need and try not to get caught up in the world. After living here... i don't need so many choices... clothes, shoes, makeup... crap really... i just need my family and friends and to love/ serve the people I'm around. I love meeting people and i really do love learning to love all different types.... All those jokes i made... well i think of each person i said them about and I can't help but LOVE them. Their accents, their style and just who they are. The differences we have is what i love. I love that they aren't like me and I love learning the qualities they have... that i need.

For ex... the person trying to charge me extra money.... she is one of the most non judging people I've ever meet.... she doesn't see weirdos as weird but as people... and loves knowing everyone. I love how she can smile when she is pissed.... i think of her and smile. Ha

I also learned that it isn't a big deal if someone doesn't like me... no matter how much i like or love them and am kind to them.... they may not like me... But it does affect me to think i hate them... i don't hate them, when i try not to like someone, I'm sad.... so I'll just accept that I like everyone and may not get to be friends with everyone... that is just one tinny example.

they are my friend or not... either way I'll choose to be happy and love.

Balls I'm going now.....

and leaving you with what i want to live my life by........

Take it easy. Don't let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy. Lighten up while you still can don't even try to understand. Just find a place to make your stand and take it easy.

We may lose and we may win though we will never be here again so open up, I'm climbin' in, so take it easy!

Things the English say a lot

"that's a bit dodgy"

"Proper" about anything!

"posh"

"can't be bothered"

"wicked"

and there will be more to come.... can't think of them right now