So the name of this album is so cheesy! I love it..... Well I was thinking today about people. When am I not analyzing people and making theories and judgments? well Hardly ever is the answer
I'm reading this book and it is talking about the happiness in other countries. It is pretty good book. It was saying how in Thailand they just let things go! OK As I've gotten older, i let more go but I still have feel like most things have a solution- even if it is a bad one. Like for instance, I can't control how people treat me but I can still treat them well. My friend gave me advice saying something like " well you've got to learn that people have good and bad days and it isn't about you. They aren't always going to be nice to you" i wanted to say " duh?!?! but I have good and bad days and that doesn't excuse me for being a bitch" I didn't, I took the advice and smiled.... inside though, i wasn't smiling. I think of the people in my life (friends/family) and the ones I respect and the ones I have fun with. They are different sometimes. The ones I respect the most and feel that are more wise and mature than me- they hardly give me advice, they have never made me angry- doesn't mean i wasn't upset around them but never BC of how they were treating me. I sometimes try and make excuse and reasons for people's behavior so I don't think less of them- But today I think- Who cares. I will just not respect them because I don't. I think they are fun, i love them but some of my friends are just immature and I still love them and can treat them well when they are rude to me but They are rude. I'm not sure if that is like the Thais or like the Americans way- either way I've found some peace :) Hence the title 'Here comes the sun'. here comes some happiness I've found In knowing who I am, and an understanding that People can teach us different things. Some of those friends who are immature in the area of mood swings and how to treat your friends, are mature in other areas that I haven't developed or that don't come easily to me. I find that it is easy for me to treat everyone around me well, no matter how I feel, until it comes to my family. Ugh the people i love the most. I'm no saint. I'm someone that thinks and thinks and thinks and try's to act and fails. I don't give up but I think about giving up hahaha.
OH some funny-ish story::::: Ok so i was watching my names earl with a friend last night and it was funny bc earl is being Buddhist and trying to make up for things and gain points for his next life. In it Karma comes in.... everything that he made happened to someone, happened to him and it was funny. Well I punched a bee the other day (not just a bee but a Huge BLACK bee..... yes bees can be just black (some of my friends are racist, but hey "can you really blame them" haha jk)... anyways this bee has sent his friend bees and bugs to follow me around all day today. ha i am just walking around singing "shake it" thinking of my friends in Utah and those good times and Wham! attacked and then followed for half an hr..... karma? not really but still i need to make it up to those bugs so I helped a snail and then No more bugs followed me :) hahahaha
ugh, I'm crazy but I'd rather be in my thoughts and understanding than be anyone else. I love that i love to be a lone now but i also love people! more than being a lone but i need both to fully grow and understand life.... no one wants to be in a stand still. I feel balanced for once. Oh also i was thinking about how I'm sorta in a standstill till i get to be married and serve... i do love having roommates and learning to serve and love someone you didn't know two months ago.... :) it is "fun" how the Thais describe things.... In the book it gave an example of the difference in America- mowing the yard isn't fun so we get rich to pay someone to... but in Thailand it isn't fun but they make work and play fun... just different ... a balance so that when they are rich they don't pay someone to do it BC the balance makes life fun and brings happiness :)
the end.
