"I'm done"

OK so I know this is gross, if you are a sensitive guy go ahead and stop reading.... NOW.

I have a period every other week for over two months so they put me on Aviane. I had two three simi periods in that month of taking it, mood swings and basically it has sent me into depression. Know one except Zack and my mom are aware of this but then I was just reading side affects of this stuff and IT SUCKS. I'm not the only one, so I don't feel as crazy. I was told to take yaz instead. So I went to this website and read about yaz. Guess what? it is good for about six months then there are other side affects. Not mood swings or depression but weight gain and blood clots. Instead of having a regular period, you have no period. So I'm not sure what to do. If anyone reads this and knows a good birth control that wont make me insane, share with me now, Puhh-lease <3

http://www.askapatient.com/rateyourmedicine.htm

that is the web page where I read about this stuff. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't experienced first hand how horrible Aviane is. Worst experience of my life.


On that happy note, Happy almost fourth of July. I love you America <3

All That I Have

We will be alright,
I'll be by your side
I wont let you down
But I gotta know,
No matter how things go
That you will be alright

You're just the one
That I've been waiting for
I'll give you all
That I have
To give and more
But don't let me fall

Underneath the moon,
Underneath the starts
Heres a little heart for you
Up above the world,
Up above it all
Heres a hand to hold on to

Belief In Something More

So a lot of new things have been going on. First of all I'm dating a boy named Zack and he is amazing to me. Second off I am almost finished with BYU and probably by default UTAH! I am looking for a job and finishing my internship at this Home, Health and Hospice place. I am doing HR work. I'm learning a lot about the hiring process and doing performance appraisals. It's been a lot of fun. I put simi ok descriptions by the following photos. The first photo is of my boy and I at temple square. I sorta like him.

Camping with Angie and Coogan was a lot of fun!

We went to Topaz Mountains for Memorial Day family camp out. His family. So much fun. 

 Pirate Island! Arrgh matey 

 Matching nighties in colorado






I love my family and graduation :)

We had a huge group date at Boondocks and it was loads of fun.

Happy is the heart that still feels pain

Darkness drains and light will come again

I like positive thinking (sometimes). I never like to state anything as always true or say that I always feel a certain way. I do feel that most people just are looking for happiness and the most of the time people intentions are not bad but misguided. I want to keep the perspective that everyone is just looking for happiness and through all of the sadness is how was learn grow and find happiness.

Sometimes I drain myself to the point where I'm so tired and can't imagine feeling love for anyone... this includes friends, family, boy's ever again, children. Ha I just feel nothing and I don't think that is healthy. I really do know that the atonement 'satisfies the demands of justice' and that the trails of life are just shaping up for a greater happiness to come. I love reading 2Nephi 4 and the last two verses give me strength.... kind of like certain songs give me strength and this song is a new one that I love. It will be my fav for a few days till I move on- sorta like I do with boys... haha jk?

Now that I've been all "sweet" Let me post something that makes me laugh

anyone else a little concerned with how much obama knows about the teams in this year's ncaa basketball ?

Sooo to catch anyone up on my life, I work, I go to school, I play badminton and I go running.... this is sooo ugly of me.... haha

if you are going to play... play well

Cartoons & Forever Plans

For my class I need to write daily and today I'm writing in my blog. My good friend is leaving! It is sad because I am graduating and more likely than not, I will never see these good friends again. These friends that I made and kept over these six years. I can't believe it's been that long. I still feel like a child in a lot of ways. Anyways, I love my friends. During the CES fireside, the story about the boy in young mens and President Monson, made me cry. I thought of my good friends from when I was that age, that I haven't seen for ten years and started to tear up at how much I love them still and want the best for them. It is hard to say goodbye. I don't regret my experiences. I'm trying to learn from them. Anyways this blog is mostly for my good friend that is leaving and for my class lol! He'll always hold a special place in my heart. I have such amazing examples for my friends.

Music always says what I feel better than I can.




"There's one thing I want to say, so I'll be brave
You were what I wanted
I gave what I gave
I'm not sorry I met you
I'm not sorry it's over
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save"
Stars, Your Ex-lover is dead.

Friends

I just wanted to post some videos and pictures of my friends. I've had the best friends ever! Some have been in my life for 7 or 8 years and some just for 2 or 3, BUT all of them know me and are always there for me. They give me the best advice or no advice and show up with star bucks at 1 AM without talking to me in weeks... they just know! lol.

To end this post... In my life currently I play mom (I nanny). I get them ready, take them to school then I gym it up. I do homework then I pick them up and then I go to class. I have a calling and I also attend the temple once a week for my calling. I play intramural soccer with my friend Em and we tore up this week. On the weekends, I watch football or go to the games!!! I have a internship I think for my cap stone, I just have to get the paper work finished and then I'll be even more busy! It'll be with drug and alcohol addicts. I will be working in a residential home with them!!! Life is good. I love everything I've been doing and the people in my life are amazing. The end. <3>

Impatient

So I have a hard time being alone..... I need close secure relationships... 

Well I don't know what I'm looking for
But I know that I just wanna look some more
And I won't be satisfied
'Till there's nothing left that I haven't tried
For some people it's an easy choice
But for me there's a devil and an angel's voice
Well I don't know what I am looking for
But I know that I just wanna look some more

Well I don't know what I'm living for
But I know that I just wanna live some more
And you hear it from strangers
And you hear it from friends
That love never dies, love never ends
Now I don't wanna argue, no I don't wanna fight
'Cause you're always wrong and I'm always right
Well I don't know what I am living for
But I know that I just wanna live some more

I used to be involved, and I felt like a king
Now I've lost it all and I don't feel a thing
I may never grow old, I may never give in
And I'll blame this world that I live in
I visit hell on a daily basis
I see the sadness in all your faces
I've got friends who have married
And their lives seem complete
Here I am still stumbling down a darkened street

And I act like a child and I'm insecure
And I'm filled with doubt and I'm immature
Sometimes it creeps up on me and before I know it
I'm lost at sea
But no matter how far I row
I always find my way back home
But I don't know what I've been waiting for
But I know that I don't wanna wait anymore