It's Just That Simple

two day- disk 5

2010-11-02T01:51:00.000-07:00

I'm almost finished with the full first season of GLEE!

i love it. ha

oh and I think I'm marrying finn.... look at zack and finn next to eachother!

haha

love this! lady gaga and kiss and everything they perform it amazing

I'm getting married and Zack and I have a new blog

2010-09-08T13:06:00.001-07:00

Zackandashleyhuffaker.blogspot.com

lets be blogs friends! i love yall

It's a brand new day, the sun is shinning :)

2010-09-02T19:12:00.000-07:00

Some kind of magic

Happens late at night

When the moon smiles down on me

And bathes me in it's light

I fell asleep beneath you

In the tall blades of grass

When I woke the world was new

I never had to ask

It's a brand new day

The sun is shinning

It's a brand new day

For the first time

In such a long long time

I know

I'll be ok

Most kind of stories

Save the best part for last

Most stories have a hero who finds

You make your past your passed

Hey y'all that read this :) So after Zack and I got back from AZ I got sick but I'm all better now :) - for the last week or so, we just did things when I felt up to it. I've basically been reading loads of books (just finished the Mockingjay this morning) and I've been playing a ton with ZA (Zackary Allen). We went up to park city outlet malls and got some cute outfits, we went to the temple with his parents:), and we've just been working out! Sooo not a huge suprise, I am unofficially engaged-which somehow everyone knows so I'll just post it. I am waiting for the "proposal" with the real ring but I want to talk about how everything has been crazy busy with booking the honeymoon, temple, photographers, flowers, dress and the bridesmaids outfits lol. I don't like dressing up or weddings much so this has been fun... not really. One thing I do LOVE though, is my dress and the outfits his sisters are wearing :) I was freakin' out a little because I didn't feel like any dress was me and I felt weird all dressed up until the one I choose. It is a little weird but I think it is beautiful and I as long as Zack loves it, it is ok! So on another note, I'm so excited for this weekend, it'll be a real break- Tomorrow we head out to meet mi familia; Rob, Court, MomdeWicko, at the happiest place on earth! Disneyland :)

This weekend will not be as stressful as the Arizona trip because there will be the beach and absolutely NO planning :)!!

Things that are currently making me so happy:

Community (TV show)

ZA (love of my life)

Disneyland

Running (especially around ZA's small town Mapleton--soon to be 'our' small town)

Future plans

"Our songs"/ Road trip mixes

Art City Trolley (A place we ate today=really good)

Henna tattoos

Dancing in the rain

Kissing

Dream catcher earrings

Eternal marriage

Utah Lake

Love Always

Ashley-Dawn Xx

It's a fairy tale that we made true, I can't believe that i found you...

2010-08-25T08:43:00.000-07:00

We went to AZ and we took pics by lake powell, we went up payson canyon- by forest lake. We went out in the desert and watched the sun set and last but not least, we made tie dye shirts to float the river with haha.

did a session in this temple with friends. <3 Nov 20th......

and we danced in the rain.... <3

Zack and I got to spend over a week in Arizona. I've always loved Arizona but having Zack there made it so much better :) We mostly did planning with my mom but we got to swim -of course. We also did all the fun things you see in the pictures and we had Korean food made by my best friends dad (he served his mission in Korea). Rob got home so we got to hang out with him and his friends (kava nights) and then we just ate ways too much delicious foods. So it was a good trip! I'm glad to be back, I now get to live with Em and some other great gals :) OH and on the way back we stopped at Chief Yellow Horse lol! and Z got me dream catcher turquoise earrings :) they work! the last too nights I haven't had bad dreams! They hang on a picture of us- across from my bed so I see them when I fall asleep..... <3 ummm OK I'm off now. I have to go to the doctor- I maybe real sick. My throat isn't getting better :/

"It was bound to happen and it happened today
Life turned to us to say 'i'm about to go your way'
And it's a simple situation now that we became us
There ain't no rust on the happiness bus"

Here, There And Everywhere

2010-08-09T16:46:00.000-07:00

Strawberry Reservoir

I love the way I feel in his arms

SOOOOO freaking cute....

Here, making each day of the year
Changing my life with a wave of her hand
Nobody can deny that there's something there

There, running my hands through her hair
Both of us thinking how good it can be
Someone is speaking but she doesn't know he's there

I want her everywhere and if she's beside me
I know I need never care
But to love her is to need her everywhere
Knowing that love is to share

Each one believing that love never dies
Watching her eyes and hoping I'm always there

I want her everywhere and if she's beside me
I know I need never care
But to love her is to need her everywhere
Knowing that love is to share

Each one believing that love never dies
Watching her eyes and hoping I'm always there

To be there and everywhere
Here, there and everywhere

I sense there's something in the wind

2010-08-06T02:42:00.000-07:00

This Feeling.

As it nears the end of the internship, school and living in this house, I feel excited, stressed, nervous, and sad. I love my house and my life but I'm excited to live with Em again & to be finished with BYU for good. ha. I am, however, nervous about getting this HR job at UVU or any full time work there. I need to work there because I've decided that is what will be best so I have so much to do this next week....

So instead of studying for my test tomorrow, after work I went to the temple (I love going there) and then went and ate a papa johns pizza with Z. I finished the night by going with the girls to see step up 3D! Best decision ever. ---You're Sooo "BFAB" born from a boom-box.... it was sweet! I am in love, not with the "hot" one but the skinny nerd that is romantic. Lucky for me, Zack is a hot nerd that is romantic. (also I think Z and I will need to start dancin more... maybe in the rain)

Today was a good stress reliever. I was going to work in the temple, way back in February I got interviewed (this isn't paid if you were wondering) and I told them I was going to be gone by June. Well they need a year commitment at least. So the president, insisted that I may stay and if I do to let him know because he was going to keep my records on file. So if I wanted to then I just need to call him up and come back. I didn't remember this till today. I hope to get a job in the next two to three weeks and then I'll know my schedule so that I can volunteer there. I love it there and going once a week is amazing, but I'd love to work there. I think it'd be good for me. I need to be more loving and serving and patient. Nothing makes you that way but if I"m seeking out opportunities for it. I know I'll be able to learn and grow to be that way. A lot of how I feel comes from my temple class I just took. Learning about the different temples and all that we can gain from going there has helped me so much. It has changed my experience at the house of the Lord for the better.

Well Now to update you in some activities of my life with pictures....

Ferne went on her mission! I am so proud and I love her so much. She makes me miss London and those days of sleeping over like every night. Reading scriptures together with Em and talking until she would get cranky and tell us to sleep. haha

The Softball team. My bishops a Stud. We didn't do half bad. Lost one game at the end. Meh- only two of the team had ever played the sport. :)

Zacks sister and cousins came to watch me play. They are sweet for cheering me on. I dont play softball normally... They needed people. I play soccer so this was a new fun thing and support from Zack and his family is always so nice. I love them.

Floated the river and had a picnic costa vida style. Best

We became friends. Zack didn't love him like I did

Spanish Fork Rodeo

So he freakin is strong. he just takes me from his back to his shoulders like I didn't weigh a thing. It was one of the scariest, most fun things. I am scared of heights haha just a little and I love things like not having to use my leg muscles to walk.... Lazy summa days

He really does light up my world... BUT this is a sorta sweet pic, eh?

I made a few collages -one for Zack and one for me. This one was mine. His is really cute... and I like to think that this one is sorta cute. Not as good as the other but cute bc we are still like children being best friends in love.

We have been watching the Lightning the last few nights. I love him. Our car rides, Singing, Playing in the rain, car dancing, star gazing, dancing by the car, ummmm anything cheesy but fun that you can think of. haha

I usually am the only one that can make ME laugh. lol.....

Thanks for reading, if anyone does.

Love ya loads.

PS .... I know no one cares or wants to hear it anymore.... I love Zack. haha

Things that I love to do

2010-07-19T17:18:00.000-07:00

I love to go dancing, I love being around friends and family that love me and you know aren't judging you. I love Sundays and being able to stop and think and focus on an eternal perspective. Zack gave a talk on Sunday. He did an amazing job. It was about charity. I was reading more about it today and will be giving the thought at FHE about it. I was thinking of all the examples in the scriptures where God has sent his prophets back, continually to preach repentance unto "his" people. It is his children, he is charity. He never gives up on them. Also it says in the scriptures that you wont know him without it. It is because he is charity. It says that as well. We can't see him as he is, nor can we see and truly love others as they are if we can't know charity. Knowing the love that is pure and eternal. Forgiving, accepting, not being easily revoked, not prideful, not looking for yourself but thinking of others. Christ is charity. His life was lived for others and out of pure love. If we can't know that and have that, how can we know him? I loved this weekend of dancing and playing and then being reminded of true love. This is something I was to work on gaining for the rest of my life. I don't think there is a better attribute as a mother than charity or pure love of Christ.

anyways- on that note, here is some weird, fun pictures of this weekend.... the only thing missing is the music video we are finishing making. Be excited because good things are yet to come :) haha

So the first bunch of pics are my friends from high school! we had a 80s girls night. Ate loads of food and zacks sisters came and we went to a party to go dancing, after staring our music video. after the party I went bowling with his sisters and that was lots of fun then home to bed.

I have really been overwhelmed with school and work but luckly Zack saves me from that. Example- today him and his little bro surprised me and took me to lunch and tonight we are going meteor shower watching :) One of my fav things to do! Anyways- my life- work (hr stuff), stats, physical science and a religion. Yay.

(stats and ps suck! just so you're aware. lol)

Love ya always Xx

No body seemed to understand me- Till you came along

2010-07-13T13:05:00.000-07:00

All will be forgotten, every tear you've cried

As soon as you awaken to what's right in front of your eyes,

Standing by your side....

I love the way he is always by my side, never lets me go :)

I love how fun everything is with him and how secure I feel with him

I know he sees me as beautiful, I can see it in his eyes when he looks at me. I just wish I saw myself they way he does. :P

I love our "family", our inside jokes, I love that he thinks my adolescent tendencies are cute ;)

I've loved the way he drives for three years, I love his truck and how safe I feel with him. Always

I love how he gets along with everyone, How he just fits in with my friends, family & with me :)

I love fishing and everything MORE when I'm with him. he is such a good teacher & patient

I love how we look together and just how we are....

I love his family and how much family means to him. I love family

I love how he makes me laugh.... and I love that he has been my "cowboy" lover for these many years

I love that he'll dress up with me. I love how he isn't vain or worldly.

I love that we've gone to the temple once a week for most of our relationship. I love how he makes me want to be better.

I also think he is super hot.... and he lets me make him pose for pictures haha

He is my best friend. I feel so comfortable around. It's amazing

A + Z = <3

I really do think when I'm with him, my ability to love is greater, my desires for good are greater, and I have the happiness of love with this peace that I've NEVER experienced. Probably because he is just a good guy with one of the best hearts I've ever known. His heart is so pure and good. I love him

Basically this is a lame blog - I'm hoping not many people read this because I sound cheesy and lame but I did want Zack to know how much I love him and how much good he has done for me. Though life is hard, there are trials and other things going on, the moments of happiness and love I experience through getting to know Zack, make all those others moments worth it. I write this after throwing up for the last 4 hours and during that time I was able to think and appreciate the good in my life and not focus on the current state of my body. lol

To end this I just wanted to say my feelings, I sometimes have felt that I don't deserve someone as loving as Zack. I don't feel that way anymore. He is perfect FOR me. Not saying he doesn't have flaws but he is someone that has been able to help me heal from my mistaken views on relationships and men. I love him and his honesty. I love our communication and our no secrets. I'm happy I'm able to know him and be with him. That is all....

I love nature because I feel am able to think and feel peace. It is like it says in Mosiah 18:30 when it is talking about the beautiful waters and place of Mormon "....how beautiful are they to the eyes of them who there came to the knowledge of their Redeemer; yea, and how blessed are they, for they shall sing to his praise forever" I know that there is divinity within us and we can feel it when we listen. I feel it best in the beautiful creations the Lord has given us. I also love that I can get that same feeling when I'm with z-attack <3

I'm cheesy and lame- "what do you do to me"

Love always

A.D.Wick

XoXxx

"I'm done"

2010-07-03T00:20:00.000-07:00

OK so I know this is gross, if you are a sensitive guy go ahead and stop reading.... NOW.

I have a period every other week for over two months so they put me on Aviane. I had two three simi periods in that month of taking it, mood swings and basically it has sent me into depression. Know one except Zack and my mom are aware of this but then I was just reading side affects of this stuff and IT SUCKS. I'm not the only one, so I don't feel as crazy. I was told to take yaz instead. So I went to this website and read about yaz. Guess what? it is good for about six months then there are other side affects. Not mood swings or depression but weight gain and blood clots. Instead of having a regular period, you have no period. So I'm not sure what to do. If anyone reads this and knows a good birth control that wont make me insane, share with me now, Puhh-lease <3

http://www.askapatient.com/rateyourmedicine.htm

that is the web page where I read about this stuff. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't experienced first hand how horrible Aviane is. Worst experience of my life.

On that happy note, Happy almost fourth of July. I love you America <3

All That I Have

2010-07-01T17:32:00.000-07:00

We will be alright,
I'll be by your side
I wont let you down
But I gotta know,
No matter how things go
That you will be alright

You're just the one
That I've been waiting for
I'll give you all
That I have
To give and more
But don't let me fall

Underneath the moon,
Underneath the starts
Heres a little heart for you
Up above the world,
Up above it all
Heres a hand to hold on to

Belief In Something More

2010-06-03T21:32:00.000-07:00

So a lot of new things have been going on. First of all I'm dating a boy named Zack and he is amazing to me. Second off I am almost finished with BYU and probably by default UTAH! I am looking for a job and finishing my internship at this Home, Health and Hospice place. I am doing HR work. I'm learning a lot about the hiring process and doing performance appraisals. It's been a lot of fun. I put simi ok descriptions by the following photos. The first photo is of my boy and I at temple square. I sorta like him.

Camping with Angie and Coogan was a lot of fun!

We went to Topaz Mountains for Memorial Day family camp out. His family. So much fun.

Pirate Island! Arrgh matey

Matching nighties in colorado

I love my family and graduation :)

We had a huge group date at Boondocks and it was loads of fun.

Happy is the heart that still feels pain

2010-03-18T09:36:00.000-07:00

Darkness drains and light will come again

I like positive thinking (sometimes). I never like to state anything as always true or say that I always feel a certain way. I do feel that most people just are looking for happiness and the most of the time people intentions are not bad but misguided. I want to keep the perspective that everyone is just looking for happiness and through all of the sadness is how was learn grow and find happiness.

Sometimes I drain myself to the point where I'm so tired and can't imagine feeling love for anyone... this includes friends, family, boy's ever again, children. Ha I just feel nothing and I don't think that is healthy. I really do know that the atonement 'satisfies the demands of justice' and that the trails of life are just shaping up for a greater happiness to come. I love reading 2Nephi 4 and the last two verses give me strength.... kind of like certain songs give me strength and this song is a new one that I love. It will be my fav for a few days till I move on- sorta like I do with boys... haha jk?

Now that I've been all "sweet" Let me post something that makes me laugh

anyone else a little concerned with how much obama knows about the teams in this year's ncaa basketball ?

Sooo to catch anyone up on my life, I work, I go to school, I play badminton and I go running.... this is sooo ugly of me.... haha

if you are going to play... play well

Cartoons & Forever Plans

2010-01-13T12:19:00.000-08:00

For my class I need to write daily and today I'm writing in my blog. My good friend is leaving! It is sad because I am graduating and more likely than not, I will never see these good friends again. These friends that I made and kept over these six years. I can't believe it's been that long. I still feel like a child in a lot of ways. Anyways, I love my friends. During the CES fireside, the story about the boy in young mens and President Monson, made me cry. I thought of my good friends from when I was that age, that I haven't seen for ten years and started to tear up at how much I love them still and want the best for them. It is hard to say goodbye. I don't regret my experiences. I'm trying to learn from them. Anyways this blog is mostly for my good friend that is leaving and for my class lol! He'll always hold a special place in my heart. I have such amazing examples for my friends.

Music always says what I feel better than I can.

"There's one thing I want to say, so I'll be brave
You were what I wanted
I gave what I gave
I'm not sorry I met you
I'm not sorry it's over
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save"
Stars, Your Ex-lover is dead.

Friends

2009-09-17T10:42:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to post some videos and pictures of my friends. I've had the best friends ever! Some have been in my life for 7 or 8 years and some just for 2 or 3, BUT all of them know me and are always there for me. They give me the best advice or no advice and show up with star bucks at 1 AM without talking to me in weeks... they just know! lol.

To end this post... In my life currently I play mom (I nanny). I get them ready, take them to school then I gym it up. I do homework then I pick them up and then I go to class. I have a calling and I also attend the temple once a week for my calling. I play intramural soccer with my friend Em and we tore up this week. On the weekends, I watch football or go to the games!!! I have a internship I think for my cap stone, I just have to get the paper work finished and then I'll be even more busy! It'll be with drug and alcohol addicts. I will be working in a residential home with them!!! Life is good. I love everything I've been doing and the people in my life are amazing. The end. <3>

Impatient

2009-08-03T21:42:00.000-07:00

So I have a hard time being alone..... I need close secure relationships...

Well I don't know what I'm looking for
But I know that I just wanna look some more
And I won't be satisfied
'Till there's nothing left that I haven't tried
For some people it's an easy choice
But for me there's a devil and an angel's voice
Well I don't know what I am looking for
But I know that I just wanna look some more

Well I don't know what I'm living for
But I know that I just wanna live some more
And you hear it from strangers
And you hear it from friends
That love never dies, love never ends
Now I don't wanna argue, no I don't wanna fight
'Cause you're always wrong and I'm always right
Well I don't know what I am living for
But I know that I just wanna live some more

I used to be involved, and I felt like a king
Now I've lost it all and I don't feel a thing
I may never grow old, I may never give in
And I'll blame this world that I live in
I visit hell on a daily basis
I see the sadness in all your faces
I've got friends who have married
And their lives seem complete
Here I am still stumbling down a darkened street

And I act like a child and I'm insecure
And I'm filled with doubt and I'm immature
Sometimes it creeps up on me and before I know it
I'm lost at sea
But no matter how far I row
I always find my way back home
But I don't know what I've been waiting for
But I know that I don't wanna wait anymore

Help Me Rhonda, Help!

2009-06-18T14:52:00.000-07:00

My goal for the summer....

Race name :	Bountiful Triathlon
Date :	8/8/2009
Address :	550 N 200 W Bountiful, Utah 84010
Country :	United States
Race type :	Triathlon (Mini Sprint)
Organization :
Website :	http://www.bountifultriathlon.com/
	Swim 0.32 kms Bike 18.5 kms Run 5 kms

I have started training and I hope I'm ready in time....

Cloak Of Secrecy

2009-05-27T15:40:00.000-07:00

I got to help out a friend in London and I say got to because it was way too much fun for me. I really enjoyed having someone paint my face and dress me in something that I would never normally wear. Since then I have been thinking a lot about disguises aka clothes, make up or just "fashion". I love and hate it.... it is this on going relationship I have with it. I just attended the sweetest wedding... sweet as in sorta humble and it was very enjoyable. It wasn't a poor person but it also wasn't over the top. It was "sweet". Right before this wedding I watched 20 most expensive weddings on tv.... wow they were also "Swwweet!".

This thought doesn't have a conclusion or a solution ... meaning it isn't complete. I was just thinking about happiness and different masks, cloaks, disguises we use and how it seems to effect us. There are more cloaks than just "fashion".

If you have any thoughts you wanna share, please do!!! Xxx

The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot

2009-05-25T09:14:00.000-07:00

The way I feel inside.....

LOL

I love this movie way too much....

Mana from heaven, sweet nectar of life

The picture below is the bridge my friend and I walked across and is also in Harry Potter... The love of my life.

I'm torn between Utah and Arizona... school, work, what I want to do or what I should do. Either way could be what I should do and either way could be what I want to do.......

should do... could do..... would do......

Net Force

2009-05-21T06:54:00.000-07:00

My mind is going to fast for me to explain everything that I've written... Above is Newton's 2nd Law: talking about how the motion and the motive force behind the motion..... if a force generates a motion, a double force will generate a double motion and so on.... this also still is true whether that force be impressed is altogether and at once or gradually (this motion being directed the same way with the generating force).

That being said..... I was over thinking the laws of human nature and human attraction and what forces are behind it so where what did I decide to over read? Laws of attraction and motion and I really enjoyed it and I really enjoy physics.

So I am much as I learn and as much and I observe, the less I know. I know absolutely nothing! Accepting that to be true has brought me so joy in knowing, I get to learn forever and always be surprised! How great is that? I think it is great.... which is why this is my blog and my opinion and why I'm writing about it.

OK so I totally have a crush, No one knows (or at least I hope not... I'm bad at hiding things) or will know bc it is not logical, he isn't my type and I don't want to date him.... but some force beyond me makes me want to just pounce him. Yeah I said it..... Oh well..... I have more thoughts on this but I'm not going to share them unless asked.

I have certain things I am attracted to ... I know I am.... one being romantic nerds like me..... I love and adore this

"He is the half part of a blessed man, left to be finished by such as she. And she a fair divided excellence, whose fullness of perfection lies in him."

William Shakespeare

I also love adore my best friend who is getting engaged this weekend. It has been really hard on me.... never knew loosing him would be this hard.

Another thing is I've been reading about Karma... and other peoples perspectives... so different religions and what not... I thought this angry person was funny and what he said I can't repeat but I can repeat one part.... which is

WHATEVER WE SEE - WE CREATE, THAT IS OUR KARMA

Well I'm not going to try and sleep longer than 3 hrs.... I shouldn't be up..... Love to all of you and especially England. I miss my friends there and their "wicked" way of speaking.... I want to go back. The End

Here Comes The Sun

2009-04-30T06:47:00.001-07:00

So the name of this album is so cheesy! I love it..... Well I was thinking today about people. When am I not analyzing people and making theories and judgments? well Hardly ever is the answer

I'm reading this book and it is talking about the happiness in other countries. It is pretty good book. It was saying how in Thailand they just let things go! OK As I've gotten older, i let more go but I still have feel like most things have a solution- even if it is a bad one. Like for instance, I can't control how people treat me but I can still treat them well. My friend gave me advice saying something like " well you've got to learn that people have good and bad days and it isn't about you. They aren't always going to be nice to you" i wanted to say " duh?!?! but I have good and bad days and that doesn't excuse me for being a bitch" I didn't, I took the advice and smiled.... inside though, i wasn't smiling. I think of the people in my life (friends/family) and the ones I respect and the ones I have fun with. They are different sometimes. The ones I respect the most and feel that are more wise and mature than me- they hardly give me advice, they have never made me angry- doesn't mean i wasn't upset around them but never BC of how they were treating me. I sometimes try and make excuse and reasons for people's behavior so I don't think less of them- But today I think- Who cares. I will just not respect them because I don't. I think they are fun, i love them but some of my friends are just immature and I still love them and can treat them well when they are rude to me but They are rude. I'm not sure if that is like the Thais or like the Americans way- either way I've found some peace :) Hence the title 'Here comes the sun'. here comes some happiness I've found In knowing who I am, and an understanding that People can teach us different things. Some of those friends who are immature in the area of mood swings and how to treat your friends, are mature in other areas that I haven't developed or that don't come easily to me. I find that it is easy for me to treat everyone around me well, no matter how I feel, until it comes to my family. Ugh the people i love the most. I'm no saint. I'm someone that thinks and thinks and thinks and try's to act and fails. I don't give up but I think about giving up hahaha.

OH some funny-ish story::::: Ok so i was watching my names earl with a friend last night and it was funny bc earl is being Buddhist and trying to make up for things and gain points for his next life. In it Karma comes in.... everything that he made happened to someone, happened to him and it was funny. Well I punched a bee the other day (not just a bee but a Huge BLACK bee..... yes bees can be just black (some of my friends are racist, but hey "can you really blame them" haha jk)... anyways this bee has sent his friend bees and bugs to follow me around all day today. ha i am just walking around singing "shake it" thinking of my friends in Utah and those good times and Wham! attacked and then followed for half an hr..... karma? not really but still i need to make it up to those bugs so I helped a snail and then No more bugs followed me :) hahahaha

ugh, I'm crazy but I'd rather be in my thoughts and understanding than be anyone else. I love that i love to be a lone now but i also love people! more than being a lone but i need both to fully grow and understand life.... no one wants to be in a stand still. I feel balanced for once. Oh also i was thinking about how I'm sorta in a standstill till i get to be married and serve... i do love having roommates and learning to serve and love someone you didn't know two months ago.... :) it is "fun" how the Thais describe things.... In the book it gave an example of the difference in America- mowing the yard isn't fun so we get rich to pay someone to... but in Thailand it isn't fun but they make work and play fun... just different ... a balance so that when they are rich they don't pay someone to do it BC the balance makes life fun and brings happiness :)

the end.

All Good Things Must End Someday

2009-04-27T06:59:00.000-07:00

So Recently over the last 4 months I've been in England.... These four months have been ... lol

I am blogging out of lack of anyone to talk to!

No one will read this, no one will know, no one really cares because I don't even care what I have to say......

So there are a few things I've learned.... I love to read (more than I knew I did), I love and need music more than I though and I do hate being alone. haha. I knew these things but thought they could change- thought I'd enjoy walking the streets alone and seeing movies alone and all that stuff. I don't. I enjoy people. Anyone really. I'm not picky when it comes to people but I am picky when it comes to food.

I do have some favorite people that I meet.... The people from Poland are so kind (not nice but kind), humble and giving. I also enjoyed the Scottish people.... they are friendly and enjoy life in the moment. Very entertaining..... <3.>

So I LOVE Europe or at least i did. Ha.... Since I've been here... I can't lose weight but i gain weight (maybe BC i start my period every two weeks... sick I know... What's a girl to do? lol), Another thing is i have "spots" always... the air is so dirty.... then so is my freakin face haha. buh. i know Vain- but since all people do is see me and not talk to me- at least can i look good? nope. i look dirty so people probably assume I'm dirty. I am dirty but at least take the time to find that out. Geezzz people ;) Ok even though No one is going to read this, I'm laughing.

Ok I'm feeling a little guilty ( Weird, do i ever feel guilty?) This is because I sound like i don't love it here... I'm very blessed in all my trips... with a great family that visited me... and great curves do to the weight gain. balls.... yeah I'm a real women in Europe, rather than a stick girl in America.....

given both options... I'm choosing the stick girl in America come may 19Th!!! Mexican food, here i come!!!

So If any of my friends read this.... the girls are wanting to know about the boys! well I don't hate their bad accents anymore but the English are not as good looking ;) ... so I've been on some dates .... One that i liked (ugly but funny)... turned into a psycho. he has anger problems. My be the funnest story of all the guys I've ever gone on dates with. I'll be telling it for yrs. The other one is hot but boring... had the chance to make out and i didn't... too bored. Sad huh? The last one is just too desperate.... he is cool and then he gets insecure and I can't deal with that. Ya know a 30 yr old that is still insecure is what i want... it just turns me on... so much that i have no self control so I can't put myself in such a dangerous situation.

haha... WOW I hope no one reads this ....... I've decided All ppl are crazy and need help but BC I'm from America, I understand them and their crazy behaviors more. I don't understand things like trying to charge me 7 Pd's per night per person on top of rent .... so I wont be paying that ... never agreed to it and i find it a little crazy. I can't wait to long board the Provo cannon and eat Costa Vida and lay out on the roof of my apartment building and make sarcastic and dirty jokes with people who think I'm funny!!!

BC i do what i want when i want and I am freakin funny. Chew on that a while Mr chewy.

OH one more thing.... I want to travel with a suit case the first 4 or 5 months I'm married ... if i get married and live my life in a way that is just what i need and try not to get caught up in the world. After living here... i don't need so many choices... clothes, shoes, makeup... crap really... i just need my family and friends and to love/ serve the people I'm around. I love meeting people and i really do love learning to love all different types.... All those jokes i made... well i think of each person i said them about and I can't help but LOVE them. Their accents, their style and just who they are. The differences we have is what i love. I love that they aren't like me and I love learning the qualities they have... that i need.

For ex... the person trying to charge me extra money.... she is one of the most non judging people I've ever meet.... she doesn't see weirdos as weird but as people... and loves knowing everyone. I love how she can smile when she is pissed.... i think of her and smile. Ha

I also learned that it isn't a big deal if someone doesn't like me... no matter how much i like or love them and am kind to them.... they may not like me... But it does affect me to think i hate them... i don't hate them, when i try not to like someone, I'm sad.... so I'll just accept that I like everyone and may not get to be friends with everyone... that is just one tinny example.

they are my friend or not... either way I'll choose to be happy and love.

Balls I'm going now.....

and leaving you with what i want to live my life by........

Take it easy. Don't let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy. Lighten up while you still can don't even try to understand. Just find a place to make your stand and take it easy.

We may lose and we may win though we will never be here again so open up, I'm climbin' in, so take it easy!

Things the English say a lot

"that's a bit dodgy"

"Proper" about anything!

"posh"

"can't be bothered"

"wicked"

and there will be more to come.... can't think of them right now

Honestly

2008-10-17T18:34:00.000-07:00

"True love begins when nothing is looked for in return"

my mom is the perfect example of this. I feel like I could be more thankful when I speak to my family, friends and my heavenly father. I want to ask for less. I think that will help limit a "secret" battle that goes on in my head. lol. So, I love Cat Stevens and especially this song - it has a special place in my heart.

Ps I'm getting excited for Disney Land with the Fam, next week. Woot Woot

Resolution

2008-10-15T19:44:00.000-07:00

Sometimes in my life there is a song that will explain how I feel. This song is how I have felt the last two week and I'm so happy that this song no longer is how I feel. Therefore, I no longer need it.

The song Black Hole by She & Him is the lyrics that follow. These words were describing how this break up has effected me. Example, I heard nothing that I could understand. I have been brought comfort and peace and a resolution/ending just last night. I do still feel sad and very lonely but more than ever but I feel a strength that I didn't know was there.

Thank you to all of my friends and family and my heavenly father. I love the power of blessings, prayer and family/friends. Song Hope by Jack Johnson says, "You'd better hope you're not alone" Well I'm not alone and am so very happy about that.

My eyes are so bleary

I guess I'm young but i feel so weary

I've tried to express it

But I think its all a bore

Its at the heart of me,

A very part of me

Speak slowly, I can't hear you

My mind keeps spinning closer and closer to the rain on the roof,

And the rain in my head, and the things that you said

People take it further ahead

And it just gets so foggy

It's nowhere in here

And its everywhere else that I don't wanna be,

But I'm stuck here getting misty over you

I'm alone on a bicycle for two.